Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Congrats or Condolences

"You know how that happens don't you"? 
"What are you going to do with three kids"?

These are phrases I've been hearing a lot of lately. Since when did it become acceptable to offer your "condolences" rather than congratulations for a pregnancy? Now, I do understand that most people are totally kidding and mean these things in a kind way. However, the seemingly underhanded comments about my pregnancy is a little more than this chick can handle at this point. 

First, this is only my third kid...not 10th. It's funny to think that my family of five is consider a large family in today's times.

Second, this baby was a total surprise, but that doesn't make it any less exciting or wonderful.

Third, yes! I realize that my younger two children will only be 17 months apart. I am coming to that realization every single day. However, thank you for your insight on how hard that will be.

In my mind pregnancies should always be celebrated by outsiders. Trust me, the expecting mother has enough worry and anxiety on her own without having to get it from other people too. The same thoughts that people bring to my attention are on my mind everyday. Yes, I do know how babies are made. Also, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with three kids...I guess the same thing I did with #1 and #2. We will adjust and everything will be fine.

 My favorite comments about this new baby have come mostly from older people or those who have more children than me. "What a blessing" might just be my favorite! It's refreshing to talk to someone who seems genuinely thrilled about our growing family. I spoke with a teacher friend of mine on the phone the other day and I was so encouraged by the start of our conversation. She was so excited for us and the growth we're experiencing. Whether the pregnancy was planned or not, it's still happening and we might as well get excited!

My goal in saying all this is that I wish we could all do a little better in how we talk to people, myself included. In every situation, we have no idea what thoughts are going on in the other person's mind. I sometimes feel the need to warn people about the negative side of things. I started realizing that those people are probably already thinking of all the negative and might could use some encouragement.

 Most people have been very positive about this pregnancy, but it's always the bad comments that stick my mind. I also have to keep in mind that I'm way over-emotional right now. Hence the crying over OTHER people's first day school pictures just because I know that someday I'll have to take my own to school. Some days are pretty irrational over here :-) 

All that being said, want to see our latest ultrasound photo?
I thought so!

This is baby "M" at our 20 week ultrasound. We decided to make all of our friends and family really angry by waiting to find out the gender until it gets here :-) As for now he/she is known as "it". I've never really been one to name a growing baby sprout, bean or any other tiny vegetable. We do have a few names picked out...which I also will not be sharing at this time. You're starting to get angry too aren't you? So sorry!

When we go to the hospital Ill be taking Ava and Jackson's going home outfits, that way this kid will have more than a hospital shirt and diaper to wear home. I'll just get to have lots of fun shopping after "it" gets here!

Until next time...


  1. LOVE THIS ARTICLE!!! You go girl. Way to be brave and put it out there. I was too chicken to say any of that stuff. BUT IT IS TRUTH. I received the same kind of treatment. Children are a blessing. Life will be crazy. But its Oh so worth it!!!!!! I think we could both compile an article of "What not to say" haha

  2. I am so sorry that people are making negative comments. Any baby is a blessing, whether it's a surprise or not. In a way our son was a surprise, but such a happy one :) I feel like God always knows what we need.

    We didn't find out the gender for Sam and we just named him "Attila" in utero because he was such a dictator over what I could eat for the first five months of my pregnancy. People always laughed when they heard our nickname for him. And for Rachel we found out her gender but only told about ten people. And in both cases we did not share our names ahead of time. We had favourites picked out but didn't know if the baby would suit them.

    I am excited to "meet" "it" (through your blog) and wish you nothing but the best in the coming months.

  3. Oh my! Having 4 kiddos, I hear those questions a lot! I've even been asked if they were all on purpose! How rude! If a baby comes by a surprise pregnancy, is it some how any less special or loved? I just kindly tell whoever is asking, that my kids are always my blessing and never my burden. =)


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