If you know me, or have had a personal conversation with me at any point in the last few years, you have probably heard about our sleep issues. Our middle child is physically incapable of sleeping more than 3-4 hours at a time. I over exaggerate a bit, because there have been several times that she has slept 5-6 hours at a time, but in general she wakes up pretty often throughout the night. As you can imagine, this takes a pretty big tole on me during the day. Now, we have a 4 month old to add to the equation, and she seems to sleep better than Ava.
I realized the other day that this issue is something that controls my life. It's not because I am so tired (which I am most of the time), but because this is one issue that we really struggle with that is completely out of my control. I'm not a fan of things being out of my control. Our pastor preached a sermon on Mary and Martha on Sunday, and I am definitely a Martha. I like to do and fix until everything is perfect.
It's pretty impossible to "fix" Ava's sleep issues. I was reading my Bible this morning and realized that I've got to give this to God. I have to give up my "right" to sleep. I have to give up my "right" to control the situation. In doing this I will learn to be happy regardless of how she sleeps. Who know, this may even be enough for God to step in and help her sleep. But, if not, I'm OK with that.
I'm not going to make this the topic of every conversation and I'm going to quit speaking bad sleeping habits over my daughter.
Luke 9:23-25
23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. 25 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?
23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. 25 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?
This speaks to my situation exactly. I have to deny myself anything that I think I have the right to and choose to be happy serving God in whatever situation I'm put in.
Blessings!
hmmmmm.... Talking about "rights" that wouldn't be any Otto talk would it???
ReplyDeleteGlad to call you my friend! Someday we will look back and laugh at all this "non sleep" and want it back.
I love your attitude and could definitely learn from you. Sleep is not our issue right now but other things sure are!
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